Segment 102

Just for the sake of argument, let’s say you find eight songs that have been broken into twelve parts. The parts are scattered all over the place and your job is to put them back together again, like a vinyl Humpty Dumpty. The question is, how would you do it? Who would you call? All the king’s horses and all the king’s men? What would you use? Elmer’s glue? No. All you need is love, a caulking gun, and a large tube of Fitzhugh’s All Hand Mixed Vinyl. The application’s easy and the clean up’s a snap. That’s right, it’s the same product Walter Becker and Donald Fagan use to put the shine in their Japan and the sparkle in their China. It’s the perfect solution for all your household problems. Fixing a whole in the ocean? Trying to make a dove tail joint? Well, looking through the bent back tulips to see how the other half lives, we find Lennon and McCartney using All Hand Mixed Vinyl for fixing a hole where the rain gets in, as well as for putting their glass onion back together again. All of which goes to show that Fitzhugh’s All Hand Mixed Vinyl is waterproof and capable of withstanding extreme temperatures. Whether it’s Rod Stewart’s fast back, mid-engine Porche, Bob Seger’s diamond ring, or his Cadillac car well, I could go on like that all day but I think I’ve made my point.

Today’s batch of All Hand Mixed Vinyl is proof positive that here in the Way Back Studios, when we find a song that has a hole, we stick something in it. And we’ve got plenty to choose from this time out, each of which will be explained as amply as a fat bottomed girl at the other end of the show. And when you’ve got all those holes, what better to stick in them than a strap-on Steely Dan, the heroic minded ones for your enlightenment and entertainment pleasure. Here’s five, four, three, two, one song from Countdown to Ecstacy.

Wrapping up with those fat bottomed girls we love so much, we just took eight songs, broke ‘em into twelve parts, and rearranged ‘em for maximum amusement. Here’s what happened. I was listening to Classic Vinyl one afternoon when they played “Glass Onion,” John Lennon’s tongue-in-cheek response to the whole ‘Paul is dead’ thing, a song I’ve heard a thousand times before. But this time I noticed the two false endings and those slowly fading strings at the end, all the ingredients we need for what we do here. After the false endings in “Glass Onion,” the song always returns with Ringo’s big drum lick, so all I needed was two songs starting with a drum lick and one with some strings at the top. In the first break, we turned to Rod Stewart’s “True Blue.” Then it was back to “Glass Onion.” In the next break we went with Bob Seger’s “Mary Lou” which, as fate would have it, also has a false ending. In Seger’s break, we stuck the first part of the Beatles, “Rain,” which also has a false ending. At this point, the set starts to get like something out of Alice in Wonderland. When we got to the break in “Rain” we returned to the second half of the Bob Seger followed by the third part of “Glass Onion,” ending with those strings.

So, naturally, we turned to the Electric Light Orchestra, slipping into the “El Dorado Overture” which segues on its own into “I Can’t Get It Out of My Head” which ends with those soaring voices that matched those at the top of Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls.” But even with all that, the set came up short. Well, one thing led to another and then to Steely Dan’s “Bodhisattva” which, as it turns out, also has a false ending. So I had to reconfigure the whole thing, sticking the second part of “Bodhisattva” somewhere in the middle. What a tangled web we weave here in the Way Back Studios. You can read all about that at billfitzhugh.com. I’m Bill Fitzhugh. Thanks for tuning in. I’ll be back next time with a fresh batch of All Hand Mixed Vinyl and I hope you’ll join us, right here in the Deep Tracks.