Perhaps as a result of something I wrote in one of my books, some people are under the impression that I'm an angry, cynical, hardhearted guy. True though that may be, I figured the website would be a good way to soften this image. So here are the pets. The president, vice president, and secretary-treasurer of the Home Office of Bad Ideas.

First there's AVA -- (aka Miss Mava and Princess Anastasia). Ava came to us via a route so circuitous I'm not sure I could recount it correctly. Weighing in at a svelt 65 pounds, Ava's a German Shepard mix whose right ear is perpetually signalling a turn. She purports to have been a ‘show dog' earlier in her life though she has provided no documentation to back her claim. She is the indisputable alpha dog in our pack, except when the cat attacks from behind. Ava recently made her radio debut as a vocalist on Chip Franklin's radio show on WBAL in Baltimore.

Then there's CALEB -- (aka the Calibean Terrorist and The Lub Pup) came to us via our friend Jennifer Miller (who wrote a fantastic book released in 2001, called 'The Day I Went Missing.' It's nonfiction, covering a harrowing series of events in her life). At any rate, Jennifer had a couple of cats but wanted a dog. She found Caleb at a shelter and took him home. The cats didn't like it one bit so Jennifer went looking for a new home for Caleb. Kendall and I had been talking about getting a playmate for Ava and when we met Caleb we knew immediately he was for us. We think he's a Malamute / Golden Retriever mix. In any event, he's a terrific athlete, extremely quick for his ninety pounds, and very funny.

CRUSTY BOOGERS -- (aka Crustus McCray and Puff Kitty) is the newest addition. A few days before I left to go on the book signing tour for "The Organ Grinders" I came across Crusty while out on my exercise bike route. He was sitting on the sidewalk, probably three weeks old, and not a picture of health (see photo). I took him to the vet and found out he had worms, parasites, and flea anemia. He was dehydrated and malnourished and had bacterial and viral infections. In fact they said the only thing he didn't have was ear mites. Somewhere north of $1,500, the vet stopped charging us for treatment.

I had to go on the book tour so Kendall took Crusty to work with her. She fed him eight times a day through an eye dropper. The medications fixed everything except a viral infection he has in his sinus which leads to a bacteriological infection which leads to lots of cat snot, hence his name, Crusty Boogers. Poor guy goes on 'pulse' antibiotic therapy which temporarily clears up the bacteriological infection, but when he goes off the antibiotics we have to pick his sad little nose about five times a day.